Big sister
by sharingstories2
Summary: After an argument, Alex leaves. This is the aftermath through Max's eyes.
1. Chapter 1

**_Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes  
But it's the only thing that I know  
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes  
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive_**

He loved her, she was his big sister. His should be role model, the family wizard and all around prankster. He loved her so much. He hoped that she knew it.

 ** _We keep this love in a photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts are never broken  
And time's forever frozen still_**

Looking at the photograph, tears ran down his face. They were smiling, the three of them, the unbeatable siblings. Together they could accomplish anything so long as they were together.

 ** _So you can keep me  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home_**

He would wait for her, any scrap of news he could get. She was his sister and yet although she had a whole load of people that cared, he seemed to be the only one looking for her, actively at least.

 ** _Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul  
And it's the only thing that I know, know  
I swear it will get easier,  
Remember that with every piece of you  
Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die_**

He received the news at one in the morning. Justin popped in, tears down his face. He was shaking and looked at his family, dread in his eyes. It took a moment for everyone to understand. Without a second thought he walked up to Justin and punched him. His parents begged him to stop but he couldn't. She had died because of what Justin had said and Max would never forgive Justin for taking his big sister away.

 ** _Hm, we keep this love in this photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts were never broken  
And time's forever frozen still_**

He was shocked after it happened. Justin had called her worthless and nobody stood up for her. He wasn't there but Alex had come to say goodbye. She said the family no longer wanted her, she may be the family wizard but she could never live up to the almighty Justin Russo. He tried to stop her but at the end of the day she was too defeated.

 ** _So you can keep me  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone_**

When Mason found out he nearly killed Justin. Max would've gladly let him bit he'd already lost one sibling. So he managed to calm Mason down…. Only for Harper to take Mason's place. He didn't need to stop her, she stormed out of the apartment before he could. In the following week's harper, max and mason had become close. Max had even been told the story of where Mason kissed Alex in the rain. He smiled, at least she didn't always feel insignificant.

 ** _And if you hurt me  
That's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home_**

He'd hurt her, he wasn't about to deny it. She'd left, left him to believe she was coming back. Only she got killed by one of the many people she'd defeated. Max would still wait for her. She just couldn't die, she was Alex Russo.

 ** _You can fit me  
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen  
Next to your heartbeat where I should be  
Keep it deep within your soul_**

He found the necklace in her room, under her letter. He didn't read the letter, wasn't ready for the goodbye to become real. Instead he looked at the necklace. Inside was the picture of the two of them. Max and Alex on his fifteenth birthday. She was laughing and was throwing popcorn at him whilst he tried to catch it in his mouth. He remembered it fondly, she made sure that he had a good day. He even found out she'd canceled a date with mason to spend the day with him. She was the best big sister.

 ** _And if you hurt me  
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go_**

He wasn't ashamed to admit he cried. Her funeral was so Alex-like and that's what he liked. His parents had lost weight and were barely functioning yet at her funeral they began to act like they were ok. Max knew differently, they didn't tell him off for coming home at ungodly hours anymore. When Justin did a speech Max felt the urge to hurt him. He didn't, this was her memorial and he wouldn't disgrace her in that way.

 ** _When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me  
Under the lamppost back on Sixth street  
Hearing you whisper through the phone,  
"Wait for me to come home."_**

The last time he saw her she kissed him on the cheek. He knew he wouldn't see her for a while, he just didn't realize it would be very long time. It didn't matter that she was gone, he would never forget her. To him, his big sister was unforgettable.


	2. Chapter 2

**_can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay  
But that's not what gets me_**

Max sits in his room. His parents are passed out on the couch again, after yet another round of arguing. The rain it his window as he sighed. Six months later and the pain was still there. Max could take the arguments, even the fact that Justin had thrown himself into his work so long as Alex was here. She wasn't, she was gone. Dead.

 ** _What hurts the most was being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do_**

They were close, not many people realized. It was the little things they did for each other, skipping dates or days out to comfort each other. He remembered the day she left, Max was the last one to see her. He saw her walk away and he knew he should've gone after her. Maybe, just maybe he could've saved her. That would've been his biggest regret.

 ** _It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
But I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_**

He sees her everywhere. At home, school, the sub shop. She haunts her. Mason and Harper felt it to. Alex was everywhere and she was unwilling to leave. He tries to force a smile, act like everything is ok. He attempts to show her friends that this isn't what she would want. He almost convince himself. Yet the façade was slipping, his smile dipped, he lost contact with himself. He was slipping further into insanity. He just wished he could turn back time. Tell her she wasn't worthless, she was one of the only people that got him. She was his big sister and he wouldn't be him without her, his partner in crime.

 ** _What hurts the most was being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do, oh_**

She never knew how much he cares. They weren't the type of siblings that could express there selves that way. They did it through pranks and teasing. Max wished he had told her that he loved her, maybe she wouldn't have died then. He knew letting his big sister go was a mistake. He wished he knew what would've happened. He wished he could've saved her. Alex Russo may have died but the one person who would always regret that day the most was Max Russo.


	3. Dear readers

Dear readers.

This is to address something that quite a few people have noticed, whether you have only read this story or others you may have noticed that a lot of my stories carry dark themes such as

· Suicide

· Mental illness

· Rape

· Abuse (of any kind)

· Self-harm

So I feel the need to stress this and I need your help. If you have read any of my stories and they have triggers, even if the trigger seems really remote could you please leave a review or private message, as much as the stories I write are for the reader's enjoyment sometimes they can be very triggering. Thank you.

That is not the reason I have written this note. I am here today to tell everyone that they are worth it, even if you don't believe it, I do. You are all stronger than what ails you and what ails you can be defeated, I believe that everyone has an inner battle inside them but you can survive. If you are experiencing anything, whether it be mental illness or you have been through a traumatic experience, hell even if you just feel sad or upset it is okay to get help. It is okay. I understand this is scary and it could mean that you will have to experience changes that you are not ready for but it will all be worth it. You can get there.

I want to wish everyone reading this all the happiness in the world, you deserve it. Remember you all have beautiful souls and its okay to feel sad and alone or whatever you are feeling. I want you to know that even if you feel like no one believes in you, I do.

Thank you all, I hope you all find happiness and joy in your lives.

\- Sharingstories2


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